Community safety policy

Safety comes first

Effective October 21, 2026. Applies to the encouragement board (in the app and at /community), the one place members post.

Behind and Before is peer support between adult men. It is not counseling, treatment, or emergency care. Anyone in danger should call 911. Anyone thinking about suicide or self-harm can call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), any time.

How posts are checked

• Every post is screened automatically, by keyword and phrase, before it is saved. The screening is cautious: it can flag a post that is actually fine, and it can miss something. A person (the site owner) reviews every flagged post.
• Every member can report any post. Report is for hurtful, explicit, or off-topic posts; three reports hide a post until the owner looks. Urgent is for someone in danger, abuse, or anything involving a minor; one urgent report hides the post at once and alerts the owner.
• The owner reviews flagged and reported posts in the Community admin page and is emailed about each safety hold. Authors appear to the owner only as a short code, never by name or email.

1. Crisis: suicide or self-harm

When a post talks about suicide, wanting to die, or hurting oneself:

• The post is held: it is not shown on the board. Only the author can see it, marked "Held for a safety review."
• The author is immediately shown: 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988, chat at 988lifeline.org), and 911 for immediate danger.
• The owner is notified (email, plus the post at the top of the admin queue) so a real person sees it.
• The owner may reach out through the app's Contact reply if appropriate, then approve the post (if it is safe and helpful to share) or remove it. The owner is not a crisis service; the help lines above are.

2. Abuse disclosure

When a post describes abuse, assault, or violence by someone else (including abuse a man suffered as a child):

• The post is held for the owner's review and is not public.
• The author is immediately shown: 911 if anyone is in danger now; RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-4673; Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline 1-800-422-4453 (for a child being hurt, or an adult abused as a child); National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-7233 (or text START to 88788).
• The owner is notified and reviews it. The owner follows any legal duty to report that applies (for example, mandatory reporting of child abuse in his state), and otherwise approves or removes the post.

3. Minors and sexual content involving minors

Behind and Before is for adults 18 and older. Nothing sexual involving anyone under 18 is ever allowed.

• If a post contains anything sexual involving a minor, or the author says he is under 18, the post is removed immediately. It is never shown to anyone, including on the board for its author.
• The account's community access is suspended pending the owner's review (posting and reading the board). The private journal itself is not touched.
• The author is shown 911, Childhelp 1-800-422-4453, and 988.
• The owner is notified (the content is never quoted in email), reviews it, and reports sexual content involving a minor to the NCMEC CyberTipline (report.cybertip.org) as U.S. law requires (18 U.S.C. 2258A). The removed post is preserved for that report and is not deleted by the author or by account deletion, for as long as the law requires.
• A member who says he is under 18 (without sexual content) is suspended from the community and the owner reviews the account; minors may not use the service.

4. Everything else

Posts with links, emails, phone numbers, usernames, or explicit words are refused before they're posted. Harassment, threats, solicitation, and medical instructions are not allowed and may be removed; accounts that abuse others can lose community access.

Owner checklist (for each safety hold)

1. Open Community admin (/board-admin) with the admin secret. Safety holds are listed first.
2. Crisis: make sure the author had the 988 and 911 information; reach out if appropriate; approve or remove.
3. Abuse: check whether a legal duty to report applies, and report if so; approve or remove.
4. Minor: do not show or delete the post. File a CyberTipline report at report.cybertip.org. Keep the account's community access paused unless the review clears it.
5. Urgent member report: read it; restore it (Show again) if it was fine, or remove it.

Changes

If this policy changes, the date above changes. Questions: use Contact in the app.

This policy should be reviewed by a lawyer before a public launch, including state-specific reporting duties and age requirements.